The hardest job I never did is forestry. All my best mates did it. I tried for one day, spewed up in the truck on the way there then red lined all day in the stinking summer heat.

This guy is low pruning – easy

My heart was pumping at full speed all day long like a jack hammer. Sweat came from every pore from head to toe.

It was like running a full body marathon all day long. My mates did it for months on end. The problem for me was the job was as dumb as fuck. Basically you climbed the ladder & cut off the branches then moved to the next tree. Over and over for weeks on end. No thanks boys. Get fucked.

I’ll explain the routine a little better. The job I did for one day was high pruning of radiata pine. The pay rate was 80 cents per tree.

A fucking joke. Anyway so regardless of the ground around the trees, hilly, bushes & branches everywhere you had to carry a 12 foot aluminum ladder to the tree. Lean it against then climb up & stand on the very top rung of the ladder & reach up as high over head as you could. There were branches all around so its not in thin air. Nah its in thin air but if I recall correctly you had an annoying safely belt which slowed the job down so much – well you know.

The job is also known as Silviculture.

This guy is high pruning – hard

To make it worse our ladders had hooks at the top & we were asked to lift the bottom of the ladder to over our heads. Then the hook would secure it to the tree. So the top of the ladder was 12 feet plus your height with arms extended over head. About 20 feet then you had to haul ass onto the ladder thats above your head. Climb to the top and stand on the top rung and reach up above your head again.

This is the hardest way to high prune and they made me do it on the first day. The actual height we pruned from was about 30 feet I guess. Thats the height on the tree at which you would start pruning – 3 stories up. Then you would work your way down lopping or sawing every single branch off the trunk.

OK so the tools were hand tools. A hand saw & a pair of loppers. If you dropped them you had to climb back down and start again. Cunt of a job. It was too dangerous to use a chainsaw.

Rough ground made it hell

OK that sounds hard right & the pay was 80 fucking cents.

I totally busted my ass with everything I had at 18 years old and managed to do 44 trees in one day. On an empty guts after chucking up.

The other guys were doing way more maybe 80 trees – still making crap pay. The absolute champion guys record was 180 trees. That’s so damn hard its demonic. But my mates were super fit hard men. Resting pulse rates around 40 bpm.

Anyway I was too smart to fall for it & passed on a career as a lumberjack. My old mates are still proud of the fitness they attained as teenagers – 30 years later.

PS: Some times I wonder if I should make a few phone calls & do it for a couple of months.

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